Sometimes, as parents, we make a plan to manage behaviour whereby we communicate what the child needs to do, perhaps that they make a good choice about something. This might have contingencies such as: make a good choice to participate in a desired activity.
Give yourselves a break when it all goes wrong. When there is escalated behaviour and the child is out of control with BIG feelings, forget the talk, remain calm and reassure them.
I always think that too much talking is fruitless because they can’t process what you are saying if they are upset. Continuing with a demanding: make a good choice now! is just not going to work. If the parent gets angry and yells they are really showing the child that when everything feels wrong all you have to do is yell and scream.
It’s better to breathe deeply and sit near them and reassure with as few words as possible. Of course you don’t then give them what they want but when they are calm you can chat to them about how: eg. when you get your shoes on and pick up those blocks we can go to the park.
